Plaid Bags and Providence

Posted on May 15, 2011 by texpatfaith

The bag is back and so are the smiles

This essay is dedicated to my husband in appreciation of his game face.

Plaid Bags and Providence

 For the Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work.

C.S. Lewis

Providence – it literally means foresight, but is generally used to denote God’s preserving and governing all things by means of second causes. God’s providence extends to the natural world, the brute creation, and the affairs of men and of individuals. It extends also to the free actions of men, things sinful as well as to their good actions. The mode of God’s providential government is altogether unexplained. We only know that it is a fact that God does govern all his creatures and all their actions; that this government is universal, particular, and efficacious, embraces events apparently contingent and is consistent with his own perfection and to his own glory.[i]

Dubai Departure

March 29th, 2011 was my daugther’s 18th birthday. She was so excited. Spring Break had finally come, along with our much-anticipated trip to Europe. The bags were packed, the itineraries confirmed, and all the documents were in order.  The first stop on our journey awaited; London via Dubai, Doha and finally to Heathrow.

My excitement for her was tempered by compassion for my husband. I knew he needed this trip.  He was weary from the weekly sojourns into Iraq and the total mental investment required by his arduous project. Having been back less than 24 hours, he had not yet made the transition from work to vacation. The game face was still on, he still walked with a sense of stern and unerring purpose and spoke with an intense and scary gaze etched into his face. His Blackberry was more of an appendage than a communication device.  Our eGate experience confirmed his need for an attitude adjustment. eGate is an electronic gate that allows frequent fliers in Dubai to bypass the passport control queue with a card swipe and a thumbprint match. It’s a great time saver….when it works.

Always fifteen feet ahead, m husband sprinted through the gate and was standing impatiently on the other side. Impeded by line cutters, my progress was slower. That happens a lot in Dubai, where chivalry is sometimes lacking. Also, the gate was being finicky with me, my thumbprint wouldn’t scan. My daughter stood patiently by the manned desk reserved for family members with no card. My husband  began shouting instructions.

“Put your card down on the front! Now, lick your thumb! Lick your thumb! Make sure you use the correct hand according to the diagram!” he commanded.

At some point during their many trips through the Dubai airport, my husband and his comrades had decided that the eGate worked better if you licked your thumb before placing it on the thumbprint scanner.

‘Gross,’ I thought. ‘I am not going to lick my thumb. That’s digusting. I have a Master’s degree for crying out loud. I’m not an idiot, I can do this. Does he not remember I’ve been through this thing before?’

His game face explained the attitude. I understood – mentally he was still in Iraq, where meeting any objective required a commanding posture. But at that particular moment, I was pretty exasperated and he knew it by the look I gave him as I finally exited the gate.

Immigration Intimidation

A couple of hours later, we were comfortably settled on Qatar Airways flight 17, bound for London’s Heathrow Airport.  The flight was good, but I steeled myself for Heathrow, knowing that their incredibly tight security makes people tense.  My last experience still haunted me. Security lines backed up, out the door and down the escalator through a narrow doorway. The escalator kept churning, sending people stumbling and falling forward into the crush of humanity. My scream for someone to hit the red auto stop button finally brought the madness to an end. I prayed things would go smoothly this time. Jeff was already tense, the game face was still on and so was the Blackberry as soon as we landed. All was well until we stood before the passport control agent. For some reason, he annoyed my husband. Jeff’s terse answers and his stern and aloof attitude made it clear that this man was the enemy, barring our way to baggage claim.  The agent looked intently at my husband, asking more questions than normal. My daughter and I tried to smooth things over with our smiles and chatty tones.

“Dad, you act like a terrorist. Why were you so mean to that guy?” she asked. “Your scary frown made him suspicious.”

“Immigration agents don’t want to chat with you”, he replied. “They just wanted the facts and I gave him the facts”.

Relieved to clear immigration without being detained, we made our way to baggage claim. By that time the crowds and the bags were significantly smaller in number.

Bag Blunder

“There’s mine!” my daughter exclaimed with confidence.

Hannah’s pink and purple plaid rolling duffel is very distinguishable among other luggage. We picked out the set together the previous summer in preparation for our move to Dubai. The noticeable nature of the bags’ appearance influenced her choice.

“Easy to spot on the baggage carousel,” I assured her, “and cute too.”

We collected our bags, hailed a cab and headed for the hotel. Before leaving Dubai I informed the staff that our arrival would be on her 18th birthday. Even though it was late and we were dead tired, I was looking forward to seeing her reaction to the tray of chocolates sent to our room, an addiction to be sure and much preferred over birthday cake.

She was happy over the gourmet chocolates artfully arranged on a tray by her bed. They were a hit and our room was lovely. We thanked Papa Jack and Gram for the fabulous accommodations overlooking the Thames and the London Eye.  It was truly a great location for touring London.  Her appreciation suddenly turned to puzzlement when her gaze fell on her duffel.

“Why does my bag have a ‘Priority Handling’ tag on it?”

I shrugged. Fatigue kept me from fully processing this question. A more alert mother would have instantly recognized what had happened.

My daughter’s puzzlement turned to despair when she unzipped her bag. There inside, instead of her jeans, shoes and make up, lay men’s suits, hand tailored shirts and cologne.

“What!”

The look on her face was one only an 18-year-old girl could master. She was quite horrified.

We all looked at each other, both of us silently processing the sequence of events that brought about this strange scenario.  Clearly, the first class owner of this bag mistakenly grabbed Hannah’s bag without realizing it. She had done the same – not paying attention to the priority handling tag. Neither one really had a reason to pause before grabbing that plaid bag. After all, who else has a bag like that?

The tears came immediately.  Her birthday, the chocolates, the 10th grandchild’s trip to Europe lost its entire luster without her stuff.  How is she going to do anything without her clothes and shoes, I asked myself.

“Don’t worry girl. Worst case scenario, if we don’t get your bag back, you’ll get a shopping trip out of this deal. And look at it this way, you’re Economics and AP Statistics books were in that bag. Now you don’t have to study!” I said, trying to sound cheerful.

My husband’s game face intensified. For him, this was a dilemma to be solved and I could see him mentally going through all the possibilities for getting her bag back. He instructed Hannah to look for any information on the bag that would identify the owner.  The imposter had no luggage tag so she began to rummage through it, looking for clues.

“This is so weird.  What kind of businessman carries pink and purple luggage?” she said. “Ugh, I hope whoever owns this doesn’t mind me going through his stuff”.

She found a few receipts for coffee, food, etc., finally hitting pay dirt with a laundry receipt. I googled the name which brought two promising possibilities: Dubai or Isle of Man. Figuring Dubai to be a better bet, we tried to contact potential pink and purple plaid businessman but to no avail.  Efforts to contact Qatar Airways were also unsuccessful as they were closed until 9am the next day. Our concern lay mostly in the fact that we only had a couple of days in London. We were assuming this man had her bag but we didn’t know for sure. And, if he did, what if he was on his way to China?

Discerned Decision

At this point in our dilemma, my husband realized a very important fact.

“Shirley, what information do you have on your luggage tag?”

Jeff correctly read the expression on my face, “Why would that matter?”

“I put one of your luggage tags on Hannah’s duffel.”

On the same trip to the luggage store last summer, I purchased neon pink Velcro luggage tags for my own new luggage (clearly, I wasn’t operating on all cylinders that day because I neglected to get some for Hannah).  In preparing for the trip, Jeff, in his super-efficient, get it done mode, had overachieved and put my hot pink luggage tags on everyone’s bags.

“Covering all the angles,” as he put it.

I ripped the Velcro tag off my bag and looked to see that I had indeed recorded my current email address. Eventually, Mr. pink and purple duffel businessman from Dubai or the Isle of Man would open that bag, filled with girly things and, as we had done, search for the identity of the owner. We just hoped and prayed he was still in the area.

Sure enough, early the next morning and email came from the very  apologetic luggage usurper from the Isle of Man. He explained that he had been on the phone when he picked up the bag, completely missing the neon pink luggage tag attached to the handle and its lack of a Priority Handling tag.

“It just never occurred to me that someone else would have a bag like that,” said Mr. Isle of Man.

“Likewise!” We laughed at the irony.

A couple of hours later, after a few phone calls, emails and a pricey cab ride to Heathrow and back, my husband, still in high gear, had recovered my daughter’s bag. The entire ordeal barely put a dent in our tightly packed schedule. And yes, he still had his game face on.

As I thought about our first twenty-four hours in London, I wondered about our curious and seemingly random sequence of events. Information on a luggage tag, a luggage tag on a bag, two identical bags on the same flight, picking up a bag while talking on the phone, picking up a bag and assuming you are the only person in the world who has one. The temptation is to think Murphy’s Law, coincidence, perhaps fate or just bad luck.

I know that God’s providential hand hovers over us, even in the smallest details. And the Holy Spirit guides us, even in the smallest decisions. What in the world had caused my husband to put my pink luggage tag on my daughter’s duffel? Without it the chances of those two duffels finding the right owners would have been slim to none.  In his article, The Ministry of the Spirit in Discerning the Will of  God,  J.I. Packer references James C. Petty’s great explanation of the Holy Spirit’s role in our everyday life in his book, Step by Step;

1) the Spirit illuminates the connection between God’s word and our lives

2) The Spirit personalizes and particularizes the will of God for us

3) The Spirit gives discernment and wisdom for specific situations – this is progressively built into us as a character trait, and

4) God’s wisdom becomes our wisdom through our renewed mind (Romans 12:2). [ii]

Lost bags and luggage tags are part of the tapestry of our lives. Why would God possibly care about a lost bag? I don’t know.  I’m reminded that concern about lunch spurred Jesus to perform two very significant miracles in scripture (Mark 6:30-44, 8:1-10).  I know it seems weird, but He really does care for us that much.  And perhaps, one of the underlying  purposes for my story is to encourage you that God is present in the everyday stress of your life. Take heart my friends, your Counselor is at work.

Further readings: Psalm 18:35; 63:8; Acts 17:28; Colossians 1:17; Hebrews 1:3 Psalm 104:14; 135:5-7; Acts 14:17 Psalm 104:21-29; Matthew. 6:26; 10:29; 1 Chronicles 16:31; Psalm 47:7; Proverbs  21:1; Job 12:23; Daniel 2:21; 4:25 1 Samuel 2:6; Psalm 18:30; Luke 1:53; James 4:13-15; Exodus 12:36; 1 Samuel 24:9-15; Psalm 33:14, 15; Proverbs 16:1; 19:21; 20:24; 21:1;  2 Samuel 16:10; 24:1; Romans 11:32; Acts 4:27, 28; Philippians 2:13; 4:13; 2 Cor. 12:9, 10; Ephesians 2:10; Galatians 5:22-25; Psalm 103:17-19; Matthew 10:29-31; Psalm. 33:11; Job 23:13; Proverbs 16:9, 33; 19:21; 21:1; 2 Tim. 2:13; Romans 9:17; 11:36

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Texpat Travel and a Ralston Ritual

Posted on April 18, 2011 by texpatfaith

Papa Jack with six of his fifteen grandchildren - what lovely ladies!

As we prepared to move to Dubai in the summer of 2010, one of the things that filled me with anticipation was the travel possibilities promised by my expatriate friends.  It’s true, one of the greatest benefits of expatriate life is accessible and affordable travel. Those of us living in the Middle East are fortunate. Our airports, especially in Doha and Dubai, have become hubs for travel all over the world. We can scratch that adventurous itch without breaking the bank. This year, when Hannah’s spring break from the American School of Dubai approached, we recognized the opportunity to finally fulfill a Ralston family tradition thanks to her grandparent’s legacy.  Jack and Jeannette Ralston were themselves an expat family. In the early 70’s, Jack Ralston’s position with Eastman took them abroad to Zug, Switzerland for four years. That experience left the senior Ralstons with a desire to pass on the travel tradition to each one of their fifteen grandchildren. One by one, in the year of their sixteenth birthday, they were the recipients of a grand trip to Europe with Gram and Papa (and without Mom and Dad), ending in a visit to Zug, where their parents had lived as children. For fifteen years the tradition continued but as grandchild number ten approached sixteen, it became clear that the Europe trip might be in jeopardy. In spite of being the most energetic octogenarians around, Gram and Papa decided it was ok  to pass on the role of travel guide to someone else. Since it wasn’t possible for Hannah’s grandparents to take her, they agreed to let Jeff and I take their place. The Ralston Europe trips are stuff of legend, now intertwined in the family folklore and ours will be no exception.  Boy, do I have some stories! I look forward to sharing our times with you over the next couple of weeks as I reflect back on this amazing trek. Especially poignant is Jeff’s visit to his childhood home of Zug.

Jack, Jeannette, Jack, Janyce, Jeff, Jeannie, Jim and Judi - An expat family all grown up

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Courage

Posted on March 28, 2011 by texpatfaith

   

  

Hannah(right) and Morgan – MESAC Softball Championship

Courage

 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.

I Corinthians 16:13-14(NIV)

The whole of Paul’s instruction to the Corinthian church in this first letter is summarized in five exhortations contained in two verses. These clear commands, issued to a struggling community, were meant to provide the encouragement and confidence they needed to continue on their path to spiritual maturity. “Be on your guard”, he says.  Paul knew they were susceptible to division from within their own body of believers. He tells the Corinthian church to “stand firm in the faith”. The phrase is a military one, meaning “to hold one’s ground” 6. He tells them to “be courageous and strong”.  These verbs are frequently combined in the Old Testament to exhort God’s people to have courage in the face of danger, especially from one’s enemies.12  Lastly, he encourages them “to love”, for it is this love for the Lord and one another that is the underpinnings of all else we do in the Christian life. Though these commands are easily issued and simply said, they are hard to follow. If we let our guard down, circumstances can be overwhelming. We are often frozen with fear and loving is always a self-sacrificing work in progress. We become weary and disheartened so easily. My youngest daughter Hannah experienced this very thing recently. I hope you find encouragement in her story. By her example we can learn that when we ask for courage, God will give it, in full measure, to face whatever tough circumstance we have before us.

 “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” General George Patton

 “Dad’s back from Bagh…dad,” came Jeff’s cheerful announcement as he came through the front door.

“How was Baghdad….Dad?  Did you get all your bags….Dad?” came the dry witted reply from Hannah, as she ran to greet him and they both burst into laughter.

Jeff and Hannah’s father/daughter banter is natural, unscripted and incredibly funny. Many times I have witnessed this rapid fire dialogue between the two of them, typically ending with an expectant sidelong glance that says, “Did you get the joke?” It is a natural and common occurrence in our household. They share the same weird sense of humor, the same tall, lanky build, the same facial expressions and the same distinct Italian eyebrows that give them both a very intense and scary gaze. Their shared weirdness is evidence of the special nature of their relationship. In many ways it is indicative of a family dynamic that defines how and why we find ourselves living in Dubai for Hannah’s senior year of high school.

When Jeff began to travel in and out of Iraq on business in November of 2009, we knew there was a good chance he would be offered a position that would require a more permanent move to Dubai, where the project would be headquartered. That chance turned into reality in early 2010. We sat down as a family to discuss the implications of such a move, especially as it related to Hannah and uprooting her for her senior year of high school. There were three options; Jeff could turn down the job, he could go unaccompanied with infrequent trips back to Houston or we could all go together.

“I can’t be the reason Dad turns down the job”, she said without hesitation, “and I definitely don’t want him to be gone that much”.

The thought of being separated from her Dad was incomprehensible in Hannah’s mind. The departure of another member of the family was too much for her to accept. She loved her Dad dearly and cherished his presence. Hannah agreed to move with us to Dubai.

 “But what about high school, and your friends? What about your Houston home?” we asked her. “You will be moving to a new school and a new city in a Muslim country where you don’t know a soul”, I anxiously reminded her.

I questioned whether it was right to expect so much from our third child. Our Houston locale had been her home for 17 years. Some of her friendships were from pre-school. The youngest of our three children, she is funny, creative, very relational and the epitome of flexibility. We often joke that Hannah spent half her younger years relegated to the car seat, forced to attend her brother and sister’s sporting events so I wouldn’t have to pay for babysitting. When her brother and sister left for college, some of her spark left too. Now, with Jeff’s frequent and dangerous travel into a war torn Iraq, Hannah was noticeably quieter, more distant and more introspective. She missed her siblings and her dad immensely. Worry about her father’s safety left her preoccupied and school had become oppressive. The stress and strain of her academic load kept her from many of her favorite sports and activities. The traditional high school environment had never been Hannah’s cup of tea. She often expressed her desire to break free from the restrictive, day-to-day monotony she found so distasteful. All these factors certainly influenced my daughter’s desire to want out of her current circumstances; however there was one incident that uniquely prepared Hannah for the decision to move to Dubai.

In the summer of 2009, Hannah took part in a wilderness experience at JH Ranch in northern California. Designed to encourage spiritual growth in teens, it was a watershed moment for her. An integral part of her two weeks at JH Ranch was her 24-hour solo excursion into the woods. During this time of solitude and prayer, she confronted many of her fears that were quenching her joy and her deep desire to really live.

“In my time alone, I asked God to give me the courage to do extraordinary things and to have the faith to trust Him completely in all that came my way”, she told me. “The next morning, there was a bear next to my campsite! I realized I had forgotten my bear whistle and there was no one around to help me. And I’m still alive! I think the message was pretty clear”, she laughed.

Hannah returned from California with new found courage and confidence. Her character was strengthened from the inside by a Holy God that answers our prayers and knows are deepest desires. Her ability to see through the chaff and focus on the wheat, allowed her to make a tough choice with courage and conviction. And, she recognized the opportunity to move to Dubai exactly for what it was; a chance to do something extraordinary. I think she was acutely aware that one season was ending and a new more adventurous one was beginning. A new season that continues to stretch her beyond her years. Her trust in God has given her the strength to navigate every challenge presented to her in Dubai. He is faithful and has lovingly seen her through the adjustment to a new city, a new culture, a new school and new friends.

Upon recently reflecting on the past year I asked Jeff, “What kind of parents move their high school senior overseas?”

He replied with a smile, “What kind of high school senior agrees to go?”

This devotional essay is dedicated to Hannah Ralston, daughter extraordinaire

 

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Texpatriated to Dubai

Posted on March 22, 2011 by texpatfaith

Offshore of the Atlantis Hotel - Dubai

Hello Friends,

Welcome to my blog!  I’m so excited to finally be communicating from our new home in Dubai.  I encourage you to read the About Texpatfaith tab on the right hand column of your screen. It will give you some brief insight into the Ralston family journey from Houston to Dubai last year. I am so looking forward to hearing from you and I hope there is something to be learned from my experiences as well.  My life in Dubai has revealed one very important principle; relationships are valuable and God intends for us to have them.  The sudden inability to communicate with ease and convenience was a sharp reminder of how much I take for granted. The ten-hour time difference, in a location half a world away has made me realize the importance of relationships and how critical they are for spiritual health.  I think of course, of the apostle Paul. His heart warming, enthusiastic salutations in his letters are a great illustration of genuine expressions of friendship. I can relate well to his desire for fellowship with like-minded brethren.

In Philippians 1:3 Paul speaks of his thankfulness to God and his joyful prayers upon remembering the fellowship he enjoyed with them. The word for “participation”, also translated “fellowship” is the Greek term koinonia. 27 It carries a deeper meaning than just social interaction. It is a shared, common vision coupled with a desire to see the vision become a reality.[1] In verse 7 he remembers their partnership together when he says “I have you in my heart.” In his letter to the Romans (Romans 1:11,12), Paul says;

“For I long to see you, so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you, that is, that we may be mutually comforted by one another’s faith, both yours and mine.”

Dear ones, this is how I feel about you!

I’d love to know how you are doing and how God is working in your life.

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